Life lately | Post 13

"What matters most is how well you walk through the fire." — Charles Bukowski

Aquarius season is here. January came and went as fast as Januaries do. It’s also my birth month. My daughter asked what I would like this year and there was only one thing that came to mind: to hear my ouma’s voice again. For as long as I’ve been alive, she was always the very first person to phone me on my day. Knowing I will never, for as long as I live, hear her voice again, is killing me softly. Fun fact: my protagonist’s ouma’s name is Helena, which was my ouma’s first name. The void her absence has carved out in me refuses to be filled with anything that’s not her. No other death has rocked me this hard. But I carry on as I should.

I’m neck-deep into the development of my novel. I didn’t think I’d love the process this much. Initially, I doubted my ability to make the story better, followed by the possibility that this book completely sucks and everyone involved is delusional, to believing that I’m quite possibly a literary rockstar.

And tomorrow I’ll hate myself and my calling all over again. So it goes.

The Cape’s fire season must be at its end. Not because summer is on its way out but because there’s nothing left to burn. We caught a group of young boys setting fire to the field next to our complex. I phoned the Strand Fire Department as Gordon’s Bay doesn’t have its own. They were onsite in 12 minutes. The damage was minimal. A couple of days later the rest of the field was set ablaze during the night while we slept. The flames came right up to the wall of our complex. Three days later I took to the field with a refuse bag and my yellow rubber gloves, to clear the area of all the bottles I’d spotted from the third floor. I know this particular fire wasn’t caused by glass, not this time. But be the change you want to see and all that. This is a protected area, home to a variety of birds and other animals, including a critically endangered black butterfly. I ended up collecting 15kgs or more of glass. I had to call my husband to bring another bag and help haul the full one back to the gate. On our way back I spotted a tiny dead tortoise with its head pulled back inside its charred shell. I broke down right there not caring how many neighbours were out on their balconies, watching this dishevelled soot-covered girl ugly-cry. At least four people that I’m aware of have been arrested for arson across the Cape. Hopefully, more of these assholes will be caught.

Speaking of heat, I have until mid-April to finish the first round of dev edits. So I’ll get back to it. Bloodbird is set to launch in October. Watch this space for deets.

Thanks for reading.

Bye for now.